Monday, January 25, 2010

There's Space in There For Sure

I had a lovely photo taken of my brain last week. Now, if I understood how to use said brain, I would attempt to hook up the scanner and whip up a picture of my lovely head here for you. But as the x-ray and MRI confirmed, I have no such organ. All of it has disintegrated with each round of child birth and any conversation I've ever had with the secretary at the Mairie.

I'm really not surprised. After all, how much abuse can a poor brain take? Years of binge drinking Miller Lite followed by a near decade of cold hungover mornings skiing by Braille in the Rockies, something had to give. Add on marrying someone who's accent still throws me for a loop after 8 years together, several children who yell gros mots I don't understand, and a dog who is convinced that I like waking up at 7am on Sunday mornings, it's amazing I've actually gotten this far.

The reason for the x-ray/MRI deal was that I've been having lovely headaches right smack over my right eye. It feels like I've got a small grape stuck in my sinus and try as I might, it just won't ferment and go away. The scans revealed nothing serious. A sinus infection that I didn't know I had and a bone spur. Funny image that. A bone spur. I start thinking that I've got some little cowboy tucked up in there trying to kick start that grape with his boots.

I'm pretty sure the bone spur is a result of a car accident I had way back when. I had been driving for only a few months when, while trying to turn down the volume on this horrible song that haunts me to this day, a tree jumped out in front of me and smashed up my car, my collar bone, my nose, and my friends. Just putting that link in there has caused me to twitch and shudder. Which I do quite often over here. Why? Well, what's worse than living in this country where Napoléon liked lining all the roads with trees. Trees RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROAD. EVERYWHERE. But I digress...

Bone spur. Could be much, much worse. And it is kinda fun having these lovely photos of my skull. They confirm what I've always said, "I'll be skinny when I'm dead." Turns out, I have the most amazing cheekbones.

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