Do The Dishes, You Get a Pair of Diamond Earrings!

I think Hubster has become addicted to the FarmVille game on Facebook. He's figured out the all the angles on what crops to plant, and when, so he can earn enough to expand the farm and buy a barn. It's impressive his virtual spread. Enough strawberries and rice to keep the tribe well fed for years. He's got cows that give chocolate milk, rabbits that donate their fur for angora sweaters, and ducks to make down pillows. A happy place, right next to my spot where I'm growing the same stuff. We can harvest all this in minutes and then sit in the rest tent and dream of pink fencing.

I so wish this was reality.

Instead, we've got large, live cows that escape into our garden, courgettes that you could use as a baseball bat, neighbours that don't help rake the leaves, and rabbits that you don't want to get to know because they're what's for dinner around here.

Perhaps I should ask the creators of FarmVille to come up with a game that has really nice kids who clean their room, dogs that sleep when they should and not sing at all hours of the night, a magic oven that produces a four course meal with one click, and the avatar I choose is what I actually come to look like. That being cute, clean, and skinny.

We could call it MomVille and every time you get a child to do something you asked them to do, you earn points towards necessary things like a chauffer driven mini-van. Every time you get the laundry washed and dried within the time limit, you'd lose 10 pounds. Manage to walk the dog and take a shower, you'd earn a day's solitude with a good book. And the bonus level would be if your character was able to make it through the day without yelling, you would earn a spa vacation all by yourself for 50 weeks.

I guess until this game hits Facebook, I'll have to be content with life on the farm. At least there I know I'm not going to have to pick up dog poop.