Sleep Hiking By Braille

My nights are interesting lately. Exhaustion hits early and lucky for me, Hubster is happy to support me in my efforts to be in bed by about 9:30pm at the latest. We climb the stairs, do the before bed routine of teeth and toilet, and then hit the sack. Normally, I'm out like a light.

It's around 1am that the fun begins. See, sporting a belly like I've got going on right now makes it nearly impossible to roll over. And when I finally succeed in at least rousing myself just enough to even consider that effort, I realize I need to pee.

I haul myself up and out of bed, waddle down the hall, and in the dark I try to find the toilet. The whole time, I'm rubbing the creases on my arms and legs that have become like a full relief map of the Grand Canyon. As I wander back to our room, I'm still hiking the trails on one side of my body, trying to remind myself to now sleep on the other side.

About 4-4:30am, I get to repeat this whole adventure, though the Canyon has now somehow reproduced itself on my other side. Luckily, I haven't seemed to developed any blisters from this heroic nighttime jaunt though I have suffered the odd cramp or two for my efforts.

I'm also usually really lucky to have good company on my trips. Last night, for example, Barack Obama and his kids showed up to go with me. Unfortunately, he was basically hiking in a rugby scrum so I wasn't able to talk to him much less see him, but somehow my mom (when did she get there?) was able to talk to the younger daughter and invite her to have crepes with Mini-Husband and The Princess after the hike.

Tonight I'm hoping for a trip back to Grand Teton National Park. Heck, I've already got the real relief map of the Tetons where my boobs used to be so this should be an easy trip to make. I just hope it's Hubster with me this time and not Richard Simmons like the other night. I'm still freaking out about that one.