Friday, May 16, 2008

Theology According to Typhon

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"-- Unknown

I like giving Miss Tennesse 1975 a hard time.

Lucky for me, it's pretty easy to do by just mentioning anything about goddess worship or paganism. I know, it's not very nice to tease an Evangelical Christan, but really, I just can't help myself.

Today I went off on a tangent about one of my favourite subjects: The Black Virgin or Madonna . I could feel Miss Tennessee's spine cringing from across the room. I quickly ran through my theory on how all the pre-historic fertility goddess stuff, pagan female symbols and the Catholic love of Mary are all inherently related.

She calmly regarded me through my spiel and then when I had finished, took a deep breath, smiled, and quickly changed the subject.

She's very good to me, Miss Tennessee. I know my unorthodox opinions on religion and God have sent her crying to her Bible more than a few times over the years but I think it's a tribute to her patience and faith that I'm still able to have her as a friend.

I got my comupence for teasing her when I got home though.

I arrived back in the village just as a lovely thunderstorm poured bukets of rain from the sky. I deftly managed to stear my 7-seater ark to school and get all the kids home without a single squishy shoe.

Of course, that didn't stop Typhon from charging through the mud and puddles to give me a full on Malamute hug and kiss when we opened the gate.

My friends, there is no hell worse than dog splashed mud filling your mouth and eyes, rendering your helpless from the furry creature who is covering you from waist to toes in fur. Not to mention, sharing that ever so popular perfume, Eau d'wet Malamute.

Yes, Miss Tennessee 1975, I am beyond convinced now that God really does have a wicked sense of humour.

7 comments:

RHB said...

Au contraire! I rather enjoyed our chat about the Black Madonnas of Europe. After visiting Le Puy, I became curious about these.

In defense of Miss TN 1975, she quickly changed the subject not because of disinterest or a cringing spine, but in order to get back to the day's topic- that would be the Genesis account of Creation. :)

Sue said...

Reminds me of a homily (Catholics...) one January where the priest compared life to football...God works through the skilled quarterback throwing the message (pass) to the receiver (us) as we navigate the various defenses (challenges) of life. That might be called Brett Favreism...

kissmekaty said...

Nothing like a recovering Catholic! xoxoxox

diane said...

I like it, but we Episocopalians call it Ben Roethlisbergism. I've actually become a believer recently to new theory about how the power of prayer by a desperate people can make good things happen. It's called Joe Flaccoism.

Sue said...

Only true believers can handle Joe Flaccoism! It takes strong continence and the ability to laugh off the jokes. Flaccoism is a an offshoot religion primarily developed at the Universitatus Delavarinesis! Go Hens! (For those not aware of this religious experience, Joe was the 6 ft 7 starting quarterback at the Univ. of Delaware who was drafted in the first round by the Baltimore Ravens...)Enough with the football...

diane said...

i'm a firm believer in the no footballlism it's too confusingism
-meghan

Dig said...

I'm with you Meghan. It's not even real football after all! ;)